Disease….

It’s such an ugly word….disease….just saying it makes me do that wrinkly scrunched up face just because it feels so yuck to say. And worse yet to say I. Am. Diseased.  Yes, sadly it is true. My disease is called Hashimotos. Basically my thyroid doesn’t function correctly. I tire very easily, my hair falls out…..sometimes to the point of embarrassment. …I don’t tolerate the heat well.  …..I struggle to maintain a healthy weight. ..my skin is extremely dry…..and the list goes on and on. How can my 29 year old body malfunction so badly.

When I was first diagnosed I was six months pregnant with my second daughter.  I have several scans periodically making sure tumors on my thyroid aka “the enemy”, aren’t growing. I take a fancy pill daily and get to have labs drawn frequently to make sure my drug levels are maintained appropriately. Quite simply, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

But I am thankful. Yep I am thankful for the enemy. It forces me to excersize and keep pushing myself even when I want to pull the covers over my head and just drop off to sleep wherever I am. It makes me realize that life is happening around me and I need to make the most of it.

I am thankful for Hashimotos because I quite frankly would rather have this than cancer, parkinsons, alzheimers, lupus, or any other number of disease processes that I could have gotten. Sounds awful I know. As a nurse I have seen all types of disease processes. I have seen Them destroy lives.

 I  beleive most people who are chronically ill struggle in some way. Hell, scratch that I know they do. But my hope for all those that have an ugly disease, is that they may push forward and always get out of bed when they want to roll over and dissappear in sleep, that they may always find something to smile about , and that they may win the battle every day of living and making the most of every situation given.

No one is promised tomorrow, and I am thankful for all my right nows. To anyone loudly or silently struggling, please smile and know you are not alone.

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