I want to start off by saying I am a firm believer that people do the best they know how.
My parents divorced when I was about seven years old. I remember thinking this should make me sad, but it didnt. I remember thinking I should cry, or protest, but I didn’t. I remember thinking I should feel alot of things, but I didn’t.
In the following years I do remember days I was supposed to be picked up from school by my father. I remember dreading the note in class that always ensued saying I needed to ride the bus home because sonething else came up. I remember a birthday card for my sixteenth birthday that said “happy 13th birthday.” I remember so many other moments in my life that were not my father’s failures, but his blessings.
The truth is I think my father did the best he knew how. I do know he is a very hard worker, and all those times I wasn’t picked up from school was because he was working so he could pay his child support. For the tine I got a thirteenth birthday card on my sixteenth, it makes me smile to know he is like 95% of all men and is horrible at remembering important dates.
Having an almost always absent father made me realize what I didn’t want for my own children. It made me choose a husband and father to my children that would be around for all the moments that he should.
Watching my mom struggle as a single parent taught me how tough a person can be, and how much they can accomplish standing on their own two feet.
For every loss I felt as a child, I was in reality making numerous gains. By normal standards society would probably say my father failed at fatherhood.
I think it’s all about perception. I think my father did the best he knew how. I think I am proud of my experiences in life. Without him having been my father, I wouldn’t be who I am, and for that I am thankful.