This time of year always reminds me of being a new mom. I know spring usually invokes this feeling in people. I guess it’s probably because my oldest daughter, Boo, was born in November.
So many great memories…and not so great memories….
Anyone who has children knows that it is full of great times, as well as miserable.
One of the not so great memories that turned into a great one is very vivid in my mind. I remember I was exhausted from days of no sleep due to a newborn being up every two hours, I was wearing spit up on my purple cow pajamas that I’d been wearing for days, and my house looked like a tornado had hit. Well, a tornado had hit, my newborn daughter had thrown my once orderly life into chaos, and I was still learning to deal.
I remember this particular day I felt so lost. I didn’t know how to be a good mom, I had no clue what I was doing and I felt terrible about my body image.
My saving grace came in the form of a present from one of our neighbors.
This particular neighbor is a nurse whom works with babies. I admire who she is, and will forevor be thankful to her for who she is and how she touched my life that day.
My husband came home from work. Looking around at the house, I could tell he didn’t understand at all why our home was a disaster, why I no longer cooked or cleaned like I did before, or why I would cry at the drop of a hat for no particular reason, or why I was so unkempt. He.Had. No. Clue.
He dropped a present in front of me saying, our neighbor sent this home with me for you. I thought how sweet….so nice of people to think of the baby. It was in a bag with little colorful elephants and baby carriage patterns all over and bright pink tissue paper. I opened it thinking I would find another cute baby outfit or toy…but I didn’t…..it was a fuzzy oversized pink robe.
I petted the pink fabric with big fat tears rolling down my cheeks..there was also a short note.
“People always get baby something, but I wanted to get something for you, new mother”
I was a person. I wasn’t defined only by the tornado that had overtaken my life..I was still a person.. with an identity……
And it took someone giving a gift just to me and not to the baby to make me realize I was still myself. As lost and lonely as I felt in those early days of motherhood it felt so good for someone to think of me. And by someone thinking of me it made me stop and think about myself.
Some may not understand the impact this gift had on me at the time, and that’s ok. However every mother out there knows exactly how I felt in that moment. In my state of loneliness and desperation someone had reached out to me by thinking of me.
Five years later and I love that robe like an old friend. It reminds me to sometimes make myself comfortable despite a busy and hectic life. And I smile every time I take it out of the closet when it gets chilly each year because it makes me realize how far I’ve come…..from a new mom stuck in the midst of a tornado…..to a mostly together mom of three little tornados that can laugh at my messy house, my three day old outfit, and a mom who is comfortable with being unperfect and sometimes lost.