Capn Boo; “College and Birth Control”….

I thought I at least had ten years before I had to have these types of conversations with any of my three girls…..

But true to form my five year old daughter Capn Boo flexed her intelligence muscle and opened a can of worms. I desperately tried to squash back in the can quickly.

I was standing at the kitchen stove cooking and Boo was sitting at the table. Out of nowhere she says,
“Mama I know you have to have a Mom and a Dad to have a baby. I know they have sex and all that…but what I want to know is. How do you NOT have a baby?!”

This is the part of the story that I feel sick to my stomach and want to bury my head in the sand. The moment I want to usher Boo back to her room to play with baby dolls and her breyer horses, pretending like she never asked these questions.

But I have always tried to be open with my girls and tell them the truth when they ask things of this nature.

So cue deep breath and turn this into a teachable moment.

I say, “Well, some people have surgery and get fixed like we do to our cats and dogs. You know like when doc came out and gelded that colt last year? And sometimes people take a pill called birth control.”

I silently pray this conversation is almost over. I’m beginning to sweat.

There is a few beats of silence and I exhale thinking well I’m glad THATS over…..
Fat chance.

At the exact moment  her Dad walks through the back door Boo says,
“Oh good. Well Mom, here’s the deal. On my first day of college I am going to get in my car and drive to Walgreen’s and pick up my birth control pills. So I don’t have a baby in college.”

My husband grins ear to ear and says, “So THIS is what you teach my daughters while I’m gone.”

Oi Vey!!!!!!!! Someone please just end my misery NOW.
All I can do is *facepalm*
Finish cooking our meal, be thankful my five year old daughter has a mind of her own and a plan for her life……and be glad that the conversation is finally over….


If I Die Tomorrow

My main focuses in life have been being a horseman, and then a nurse, then a wife, and then a mother. In my 29 years of life these are the things that I have put my heart and soul into.

I admire people that are crafty and mechanical, people who can cook delicious food, people who can paint beautiful pictures, people who can arrange social gatherings. I admire all sorts of gifts that people have. I enjoy watching people do the things that they love.

My point in this? I don’t really know, but I was sitting here in the horse barn surrounded by curry combs and hoof picks, halters and leads strewn about, and five little miniature horse noses prodding me asking for more attention, and I was thinking,
If I died tomorrow, who would I be remembered as?

I think people would remember me most for being a horseman, a nurse, a wife, a mother.

And that makes me smile.

I don’t want to change the world. I don’t want to live in a beautifully decorated house. I don’t want to cook gourmet meals or paint beautiful pictures.

I want to put my heart into being a horseman, a nurse, a wife, and mother.

To me there is no more beautiful a legacy as my own.

Conceited? I don’t mean it to be. I just mean that I’m really happy with who I’ll be remembered as.

So if I die tomorrow, know I died happy. You can always see me in the beauty of the horses I cared for, you can see me in the memories of people that I have nursed, you can see me in the smile on my husband’s face when he talks about me, and you can see it most of all in the beauty that is my three daughters.

If you die tomorrow…..How will you be remembered?


Sad Day on the HK

Its almost four a.m. now and I have been lying in bed for nearly an hour trying to go back to sleep, without success. As many of you know we have one miniature horse named Black Magic that was due to foal in just a matter of weeks. We have been checking her round the clock every few hours as her time was getting closer. My husband found her passed away just a few short hours ago. She showed no signs of illness or labor, so we aren’t sure what happened.

Its quite a shock to see death when you are expecting life. My heart is breaking knowing ill have to tell Boo, Owl, and Bunny that Magic is gone. Instances like this just remind me to live the best life I can right now, in THIS moment and the immediate next, because we never know when its going to be our time. Its as simple as here one moment, and gone the next. No one is ever promised tomorrow, or even the next minute.

If you’re the praying kind, please say an extra prayer for me and my girls. Some would say she was just a horse, but to us they are like family. 😦


Where Have I Been Lately? You’ll want to know….

I have been in Austria, and Germany. I have had tea with a brutal murderer that asked me to kill him, and aside from that its been spring break and I’ve been busy with the kiddos….

No, I wasn’t physically in Austria and Germany having tea with a murderer. (Although I was physically present with my children, and yes, they are on spring break.) I have spent the past several days being lost in one of the best books I have ever read. Its a story of the ugliness and monsters that exist in us all. The fine line we all toe at some point between monster and human.


This book has a flair of history and characters you know better than most people know themselves.

Its a beautifully written story that will break your heart and leave you begging for more.

From the HK Bar to the world, happy reading.


Capn’ Boo’s Words of Wisdom

Recently I was cleaning out the tack room in preparation for nicer weather. I came across several old leather halters I hadn’t seen since my high school days. That’s been a good ten years! I set the halters on my work bench with plans to clean, condition, and oil them. In the same tack box I found several brand new halters with the tags still attached.

Capn Boo, Owl, and Bunny were playing with our six miniature horses nearby. I called to the girls telling them they could all pick a new halter. All three of them beamed!

Then a funny thing happened. My girls went straight for the old crusty leather halters. The new nylon halters of bright colors were shoved aside in a hurry to get to the leather halters.

I laughed as the girls bickered over who’s was who’s. I said to Boo, “I figured you’d all three go after those bright colored halters!”

My sweet, beautiful, Capn Boo gave me the strangest look. She narrowed her eyes and a corner of her mouth turned up. She patted my hand and spoke to me like I was maybe a little slow, or like I was a small child. She said, “Oh no mama those other halters are nice and all but these leather ones will be beautiful if we clean them all up. Besides newer isn’t always better. These ones here just need someone to put some love into them. I’ll show you Mama!”

And with that she walked back to the pile of old leather halters and hung them each up on their own individual hook. Her sisters and her finally laid claim to who’s was who’s and went back to playing.

And I sat thinking on what Capn Boo had said. She’s right of course. Newer isn’t always better. I think all too often people get caught up in wanting something brand new, and in the mean time they neglect what they already have. And just like Boo said, we should be putting love into the things we do have.

Once again Capn Boo reminded me what’s important.

She said, “….these ones here just need someone to put some love into them. I’ll show you Mama!”

You sure did show me Capn Boo, you sure did.

From the HK Bar to the world, newer isn’t always better, sometimes something that’s old and dusty just needs someone to put some love into it to make it shine. And not just things but people too…….


A Flying Hoof Out of Nowhere

Today was farrier day for the ten horse herd that is HK Bars. Jo was tied to the back 
flat bed of a feed truck, my farriers wife, Kim, was holding Romeo some five feet behind Jo. I was holding Katelyn and Cal (our farrier ) was trimming up Charger. When out of nowhere I see Jo send a flying back hoof towards poor Romeo and Kim ! Romeo and Kim were able to dodge the flying hoof,  but narrowly!

I was SO embarrassed! Jo has NEVER offered to kick at human or another horse! I guess never say never! ( Maybe Jo is coming in season and feeling a tad bit b#@%$&?).

It was a good reminder to me why I teach my daughters how to properly walk behind a horse and to be aware of their surroundings. If Kim  hadn’t been the assertive and watchful person she is, Jo could have nailed her and Romeo a good one.

It also reminded me in life that there will be those flying hooves out of nowhere. These strikes will be cast when you feel safe and are unassuming. Moments like these hit us at our most vulnerable because we aren’t expecting them to come.

It really made me think and reflect. The point is not that these moments of flying hooves out of nowhere will come, its how we respond.

Ready or not….because these moments will come.


My Dream Barn; and my Husband the Enabler

Tonight my three girls and I were piled on the couch watching Tangled for probably the six hundredth time. When the movie was over I realized my husband never materialized into his recliner to watch the movie with us. My husband works very long hours most days and its not unusual for him to be gone. But tonight I knew he had planned on coming in from the barn early.

I went ahead and put the girls to bed and went in search of hubby. I found him sitting at the kitchen table with sketch paper, pencils, sharpener, and a ruler. I said “Hey,what are you up to?” He smiled a very ornery smile and said “Sit down I will show you.”

*insert my GIANT eye roll and sigh*

I plopped down in the chair and thought here we go. I get to hear about the truck he is putting together……..

But to my suprise he started drawing 12×15 sections…..four of them….and four 20 foot pipe runs…..an alleyway…a hay storage area…and what’s this a tack room!?! I knew right then I liked this idea.

I instantly felt guilty for my sigh and dramatic eye roll. OK, I admit it….I am a spoiled princess lol. ….on a budget and within reason of course. Don’t t get me wrong we arent even considered middle class, upper lower class maybe!? Farmers….we are farmers….that should explain our bracket.

Truth is, the sketch my husband drew was my dream barn. He has spent years listening to my idea of a functional horse barn. He has been listening! He had every detail correct right down to the way I want the stall doors to swing.

These are the moments I know my husband truly loves me. No, not because he wants to build the horse barn of my dreams BUT because he has been listening. And truly listening!

Of course this is a plan for the future, and not going to happen overnight. But we are getting a plan. Hubby said he has a ton of lumber and tin set aside for this huge undertaking.

I am left in awe of his enthusiasm, thought, and preparation he has already put towards not his dream but MY dream.