Capn Boo; “College and Birth Control”….

I thought I at least had ten years before I had to have these types of conversations with any of my three girls…..

But true to form my five year old daughter Capn Boo flexed her intelligence muscle and opened a can of worms. I desperately tried to squash back in the can quickly.

I was standing at the kitchen stove cooking and Boo was sitting at the table. Out of nowhere she says,
“Mama I know you have to have a Mom and a Dad to have a baby. I know they have sex and all that…but what I want to know is. How do you NOT have a baby?!”

This is the part of the story that I feel sick to my stomach and want to bury my head in the sand. The moment I want to usher Boo back to her room to play with baby dolls and her breyer horses, pretending like she never asked these questions.

But I have always tried to be open with my girls and tell them the truth when they ask things of this nature.

So cue deep breath and turn this into a teachable moment.

I say, “Well, some people have surgery and get fixed like we do to our cats and dogs. You know like when doc came out and gelded that colt last year? And sometimes people take a pill called birth control.”

I silently pray this conversation is almost over. I’m beginning to sweat.

There is a few beats of silence and I exhale thinking well I’m glad THATS over…..
Fat chance.

At the exact moment  her Dad walks through the back door Boo says,
“Oh good. Well Mom, here’s the deal. On my first day of college I am going to get in my car and drive to Walgreen’s and pick up my birth control pills. So I don’t have a baby in college.”

My husband grins ear to ear and says, “So THIS is what you teach my daughters while I’m gone.”

Oi Vey!!!!!!!! Someone please just end my misery NOW.
All I can do is *facepalm*
Finish cooking our meal, be thankful my five year old daughter has a mind of her own and a plan for her life……and be glad that the conversation is finally over….

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