They say that time takes it’s toll on a body
Makes a young girl’s brown hair turn gray
But, honey, I don’t care, I ain’t in love with your hair
And if it all fell out, well, I’d love you anyway
The above is from a Randy Travis song titled “Forevor and Ever Amen”. I remember discussing the song with my husband a decade ago when he was still just my boyfriend. I’ll never forget what he said.
” I agree with Randy. You aren’t your hair, its just something that’s there.”
I remember thinking how sweet! He loves me for me.
Fast forward a decade and I find myself sick to my stomach from all the hair that is falling out in what seems like in the millions. I know why its happening. A little over two years ago I was diagnosed with Hashimotos Disease. It is an autoimmune disease where basically my body attacks my thyroid and causes malfunction. Alopecia, or hair loss, is just one of a thousand symptoms that is a direct product of Hashimotos.
I find myself checking my part and my hairline. Can anybody else notice all the hair I’ve lost? I look back at pictures and I mourn the loss of my prior self with a head full of thick hair. I get teary eyed and moan to myself Why me? Why me?
I speak to my husband about it. My eyes brimming with tears as I confess I’m terrified I’m losing my hair. He just hugs me and says I look beautiful.
I speak to a close friend about it. She thinks I’m joking until I send her a picture of my hair line. She quickly texts back “Oh crap! For real!” Then before I can text she texts “Its OK you can totally rock the comb over. You’re awesome like that.”
And then I cry.
I don’t cry because my hair is falling out in droves. I don’t cry because my feelings are hurt. I don’t cry because I have to deal with Hashimotos. I cry because I’ve been so blind. I had been missing the point all along.
My friends and family love me for me . They don’t love my hair, or lack of hair. They love me because I am me.
So in the mean time my Physician is running more bloodwork to see where my count is and see if we need to increase my thyroid medicine I take daily.
From the HK Bar to the world, its what makes you you that people love. It’s the inside. The heart and soul and personality, not the wrapping.