Heather uncensored; Warning May Cause Change of Perception

Yesterday someone told me, “You have your life so together! What’s your secret?’

I was taking a drink of coke at the time and I sucked it through my nose and down the wrong pipe as I tried to stifle a laugh. I was thinking, Oh Gezzzz Lady if You only knew!

Finally I managed  to dumbly shrug my shoulders and make my ” I don’t know face.”


A horrible impression of my "I dont know face."

And then I went about my day like it never even happened. But you know, I really got to thinking about it. You know, in one of my moments of Superior internal dialogue. That looks much like this.


What a superior moment of internal dialogue looks like.

And I just really had to laugh.

Because I usually don’t  “have my life so together”.

Here’s a for example.

This morning I turned my alarm off five times and kept ignoring the fact that I had three children to feed, dress, and bathe before driving my eldest to school. That is of course until said eldest child came into my room to tell me we had exactly twenty minutes before we had to leave to barely make the first school Bell. So I hurriedly bathed all three children….. Which consisted of me stripping them all down and turning on the shower head, and then scrubbing them all hap hazardly from behind the shower curtain. Trying to keep the floor dry, which ultimately I managed to get the whole floor wet and pretty sure Bunny used all of Hubbys body wash. Or maybe just dumped it down the drain. Still not completely sure on that one.

Then when everyone was dressed I made breakfast. Which consisted of throwing a plain white piece of bread at each child with a cup of milk. Because you know it does say on the bread sack that it is after all, iron enriched.

Then us Staley girls loaded up in the suburban much like the Clampets, and headed to down. I barely made it to drop Boo off in time for school. But we did make it. After all I only had to knock on the door that the teacher just locked because it was past time. Good news though they let her in, and they know I’m crazy already, so no surprise.

Owl, Bunny, and I went to Walmart and grocery shopped for last minute items for Bunny’s birthday party that is tomorrow. Because you know I have my life so together and didn’t wait till the last minute to prepare for it. *insert eye roll here*

Then we came home and I binge watched movies all morning with my bestie while Owl and Bunny watched Home three times and ate trail mix out of an economy size bag…..and maybe a few pieces off the floor.

About two I finally decided to feed them lunch. Another grand meal prepared by me.


Cold pizza from two days ago. BUT I did throw in a handful of grapes and opened a can of green beans.

When lunch commenced eight minutes later the kiddos went off for a nap while I snuck outside to do the morning chores…  Only a few hours late. This is the only part I feel I need to defend myself or my actions, chores are generally done before I even eat breakfast myself.

Then later I’ll throw some tacos together for supper before leaving the girls with Hubby so I can go to a pampered chef party and drink margaritas with my bestie. A night away? What’s that? It’s a mythical evening that comes around about once a year for this mom.

So you see, my point in all this is that when someone seems like they have thier life so together and their perfection makes you want to vomit, please remember that most of us really don’t have our crap together, and people only usually see a small part of each others lives. Basically some of us are just better at pulling off the “so together” than others, and we all have our moments when we do get it all to fall together. But instead of trying to force everything in to place I’m going to revel in my mostly put together life with a smile on my face because in some ways we are falling apart, and in some ways, we are all falling together.


Until my next rambling.....

6 thoughts on “Heather uncensored; Warning May Cause Change of Perception

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