Night Crazies

Our cat Eli suffers from what has been officially unofficially diagnosed as nocturnal asshole cat syndrome the night crazies. As soon as the sun sets his symptoms begin to emerge.

Exhibit A


He runs through the house at break neck speeds sliding across all the slick floors and managing to upset every throw rug in sight. He must murder them….all of them lest they rise up and attack in the middle of the night, you know… all throw rugs do after sunset.

Exhibit B


He inspects every unlikely box he can. And then inserts himself in said box, front end only, and commences to pushing the box around the floor bumping into and knocking over anything in thier path. Because everyone needs a bulldozer cat at 2 a.m.

Exhibit C


He must also steal every pencil off my desk and put them in neat rows under the table. Apparently he feels jilted because he doesn’t have opposable thumbs and this is his way of acting out.

If your cat suffers from nocturnal asshole cat syndrome the night crazies, I am in the process of starting a support group. Where at which we can all weap and reminisce over the lost sleep we suffer due to this terrible disease that afflicts out beloved cats.

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