About six months ago I was walking through the stalls of our local farmers market. With three rambunctious cowgirls in tow, my earlier daydream of all four of us walking leisurely through the organic vegetables linked by hands and matching smiles, was quickly falling to pieces. The girls were whining, “It’s too hot Mom……Can we eat now? …..Are we almost done? …..What are we looking for?….” Let me assure you the list continued, but I won’t make you suffer through that telling. We soon came upon a booth full of soap, this is where the story gets magical!
The three cowgirls immediately began picking up bars of soap and smelling them. I inwardly cringed as I pried thier greedy Fingers off the merchandise and told them to keep thier hands to themselves. And heres where the magic truly began. The booth owner smiled genuinely and said, “Can I show your girls how we make our soap?” I said yes, of course. He whipped out a three ring binder with pictures of goats and his family (lots of children) making soap! The girls immediately stared in rapt fascination. (If it has to do with animals my girls are in!) He proceeded to explain the whole process to them.
Meanwhile I started perusing the goods from The Goat Milk Soap Store. And let me tell you, I was impressed! So many smells, and I of course fall in love immediately with the local farm. (Being from the HK Bar myself, I try to support small farms such as ourselves).
I ended up with three bars of the oatmeal, milk and honey.I couldn’t wait to try it! Which I did later that very same night. It smells so delicious, and left my skin moisturized instead of dried out like most store bought soap. I have never bought another bar soap since!
You can check them out over at thier easy to use website,
Where do you blog? I often wonder about trivial things like this. While I am reading different blogs I wonder if the person is blogging from some beautiful beach somewhere as the sun comes up, or are they blogging from the bowels of a dark castle that seeps moisture, or maybe from a more ordinary place like an office cubicle; possibly blogging while they are truly supposed to be working their day job. I assure you, where I blog from is a mix of all three of these places I’ve mentioned above. The HK Bar is where I blog 99% of the time. Sometimes my view is the porch scene you see above. With my little people painting, coloring, or simply running about with the dogs and sometimes a miniature horse being drug across the lawn as my three little girls become Cowboys and Indians. I often blog standing up at my kitchen counter and it takes me hours to complete one post because I am also trying to run the farm, cook meals, watch kids, make phone calls, etc etc etc. And sometimes, during that 1% that I am not blogging from the HK Bar, I am blogging as I wait in the grocery store line, or have a five minute break working as a nurse, or when I’m sitting in the parking lot after I get off of a nursing shift. I am never really NOT blogging. In my head at least I am always thinking of something to write about. I generally think about epic posts in my head, only to sit down in front of the computer to realize I have forgotten them more quickly than I have composed them in my head.
So today, From the HK Bar I m sending out this question into the great unknown to ask, “Where do you blog?” I have a feeling it will interest me more than what you might think. Are you the beach blogger? The castle blogger? The cubicle blogger?
Phase three was a total slam dunk! I keep thinking one of these phases is going to fall flat on its face and give me a reality check. it has been going so well! Ugh my pessimism creeps up sometimes. I am a bit of a serial realist. Ouch, hurts to admit. Anywho, phase three of operation romance I planned yesterday morning, the day of. I know talk about last minute, but hey, I can work under a time crunch and really let’s face reality, A day designed specifically for him just needs to include food and entertainment that can hold his attention. THe key to designing a date tailored specifically to one person is to actually know what would make that person happy. My husband isn’t a Neanderthal, but close. So basically I guess I have to admit I had a slam dunk from the word go. I mean really, my husband would have been happy to have no children in the house and stay in bed with a pizza and sex for the night. He would literally have been as happy as a rhody at a Duran Duran concert.
But that’s not what happened….well…completely. Having some respect for our private lives I will say his date started off with the kids going off to the babysitter and him getting to spend some time in bed…taking a nap….
After his nap he was much refreshed. He commented how sweet it was for me to think of that, and I secretly fist pumped (seriously NOT a sexual innuendo here) my victory in the bathroom as I prepared for phase two. I mean really score one for team Heather.
I then whisked him away to his favorite place to eat. Longhorns Steakhouse in Lawrence, Kansas. I took the liberty of ordering for him. Starters were a bud light bottle for him and “make sure it’s cold” (I’m sure the waitress thought I was a real control freak) and a strawberry margarita for me. The husband was impressed with my skills I could tell. Or actually it was probably because I’m a huge non drinker and I get all frowny and pissy faced when he usually orders a beer. (A little back story though my husband used to be a big drinker. Not alcoholic , just more than what pushed my comfor t zone. Oh to have been raised in an alcoholic family. It damages you somehow. But that’s fotter for another story). Then I commenced to ordering Chicken strips with french fries WITH barbecue sauce and ranch dressing. Because my husband can’t stand honey mustard and eats barbecue sauce on everything. Seriously, I told you he was the human being most closely related to the Neanderthal living! We chatted through supper like we were newly dating and getting to know each other. All the while I am thinking where is this coming from? Usually by now I’m irritated because he is spending two dollars on a beer and all I can think is how irresponsible that is with my hard earned money. (HAHA right he is the one that works three jobs. Ok so I’m possessive. …..can I also blame this on thoses alcoholic members of my childhood??) We just enjoyed supper. I had to check my mouth a couple of times from discussing bills and other concerns I Have for the planning period for the HK Bar for next calendar year. I decided no business talk on his date. I mean really Ithink that is why I stress him out so much is because all I can think of is finance, planning, what’s next what’s next……I get it though, seriously from his point of view he works sixteen hour days and then comes home to three screaming children that want his full attention and a wife that is bitching because the finances are so tight you could bounce an elephant off of them. Like seriously I’d be thinking of doing a runner in his place. Maybe he fantasizes about it…. But back to supper. It was fantastic. Period.
I next took him to a movie that he has been talking about for weeks. ‘War Dogs’. But realized a flaw in my planning. We had an hour to kill in between supper and movie. That’s when my Neanderthal, I mean my husband stepped up his game to impress me. He said let me take YOU somewhere for the next hour. All I could think was Great he is gong to take my to some very public place and want to have sex in our new Yukon. (The back cargo area is huge), And then the police are going to come and arrest me and then I’ll go to jail for the first time in my life at thirty years old because I had my naked ass up in the air in the back of our family vehicle in the middle of a populated area…..” Seriously the struggle is real inside my head sometimes. But he took me to a book store close out. Big red signs of 70% off flashed everywhere. BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS! And all at dirt cheap prices. This is the precise moment my husband turned from Neanderthal to Prince Charming. He so gets me . I love books. So for the next hour I put armfuls of books into a cart pushed by my husband who followed me silently like a loyal dog. God I love that man.
Then it was on to the movie. War Dogs was the typical stuff based on a true story I’m a gun runner badass……. I did enjoy it. A little. Not as much as the bookstore, but I lived. My husband was grinning like a kid at Christmas on the drive home. And then he said the magic words….”That was the perfect date night, thank you Baby”. I melted into the seat and closed my eyes after those words. Phase three had been a success! And all I could do was smile. ……and start planning PHase Four of Operation Romance…….
I finally decided on my next phase of operation romance! I made my husband a suprise steak lunch. What did you expect from the title? Gezzz you sicko, I literally meant I handled his meat, you know the kind you EAT….errr….well, that could be misconstrued as well. Okay starting over, I made my husband a kick ass suprise lunch in an attempt to bring back some romance to our marriage. I seriously have been tuned out for awhile.
Anyhow. I made marinated beef ribeye steaks (raised and butchered right here on the HK Bar), corn, and seasoned mashed potatoes. He was a happy man! I sat across the table staring at him as he took his first bite. He wore a worried look as he took his first bite. I said, “What’s wrong honey?” He said, “I don’t know I keep waiting for you to tell me. You have been so attentive these past few days I keep waiting for the punch line. I have to admit it has me a bit worried.”
Im sure he saw my eager, happy face fall with his comment. Gezzz I know I’m not huge on romance, but I didn’t realize I have been the ultimate romance Scrooge. I told him, “I realized I have not been very attentive to you, or very romantic for a long time. I truly have had a great time first writing your note, and planning your suprise lunch. I guess I would worry a bit too if I were in your shoes. Not that you have to worry, I just wanted to do something nice for you.” A genuine smile lit up his face and he took my hand from across the table. He even put his fork down to do this, and that is HUGE for my husband, although thin, he loves his food. And he said, “I really liked your note. It made me smile, and it was really sweet of you. Thank you, it is nice to be thought of.” And then he commenced to devouring my suprise lunch with impressive speed.
So I guess after the initial shock of Operation Romance wears off my husband might not always look so Leary when I do something nice for him. We had some good moments during his lunch. And I truly did enjoy preparing the meal and coming up with the menu. Usually I’m not a huge fan of cooking. It’s not that I’m bad at it, because I’m not, it’s more the fact that everyone has to eat and it just becomes one more chore on my list to check off three times a day. This time was different. I really did feel like I was pouring my love into this meal. And I’m happy that it was received so well.
So cheers to handling my husbands meat so well, and on to the next planning phase for Operation Romance. HMMMMM what will I do? What will it be? Stay tuned!
I actually googled how to write a love letter. Pathetic? Maybe so. I told y’all I had killed (or very nearly) killed the romance in my marriage. But hey, I am TRYING here. So what did I uncover in my google search? Basically the best advice I read was to write the love letter HE would like to receive not the one YOU would like to receive. Also other good points were to keep the wording simple. You don’t really need to write a novel about how you love to watch him sleep (I think that is creepy as all get out. But hey, who am I to say I mean really I had to google how to write a love letter! ) be to the point and straight forward using simple terms. And another last but very good point is, men don’t necessarily want to hear they are handsome, they want to hear they are appreciated, admired, and needed.
So after composing at least half a dozen long winded flowery love letters I opted to take some well given advice and see where it took me. I wrote a very short and very well intentioned letter to my husband and used a few of my daughter’s stickers to tape it to the back door. I put it right above the knob so that he has to see it.
Even though it is very simple, I hope that it makes him smile that I took the time and thought of him. So now we wait, and see what the outcome is. Update to follow.
Seriously though, in the twelve years with my husband, I have so killed the romance in our relationship. I used to be the one that tried to find the perfect gift for him for holidays. I would always send thoughtful and sometimes naughty (not like x-rated, more like a smidge between pg-13 and R) text messages, I would always beg to be snuggled, etc. etc. I could sit here and type all the mushy crap I used to do, but then I’d be repulsed at myself and have to cringe a little remembering such drivel. (Why do I think it is drivel now a days? )
When did I really cut Romance’s throat? For the life of me I can’t say that I can put my finger on a particular space of time that I said to myself, “Ok, this lovey dovey crap just has to end, NOW!” Because really I am truly a romantic at heart. I always want the couple to fall in love and live a happy every after. I always ooh and ahhh when I see a couple basking in some romantic event or occasion.
So why have I cut it out in my own marriage?
I honestly, for the life of me cannot answer this question. I think as time has passed I have just slowly done less and less. I quit putting the effort in for whatever hundred thousand reasons I can think of, until here I am today, knowing I don’t do anything romantic anymore for my husband.
One thing I do know is that I love my husband very much. He is the only person that can make me as mad as he can and I still know at the end of the day that I want him with me. Even if he is a big old idiot sometimes. He’s still my person. So I think I will be putting some effort into breathing life back into Romance. Maybe, if I am lucky I haven’t really killed him off completely. Maybe he can be rescusitated.
So the research begins to bring Romance back to life. I am thinking the first thing I will attempt is 1. Write him a love letter 2. Plan a date that is all about HIM. And past that is where my view becomes hazy. But hey, it is a start. What are some romantic things you have done for your significant other? What does romance even mean to you?
After I put some ideas together I will update you on how this journey goes for me! I look forward to hearing your thoughts and suggestions on this one!
Have you ever wondered what it’s like in the HK Bar house? Imagine mass chaos. Five loads of clean laundry in all stages of care (but hey, at least it is all clean right?), the China hutch turned kids book shelf in complete disarray (hey, at least they are reading), only half of the five million pairs of shoes the four women of the house own (why do we have so many shoes? I need to find a cool Pinterest shoe keeper solution), worn carpet that needs restricted, and a fat lazy cat that couldn’t even manage to kill the mouse that has been stealing out of his bowl.
This is just a small piece of the HK Life. I often imagine what type of homes and people are behind all the blogs that I subscribe to. You are all interesting in your own ways and I really do enjoy keeping up with your blogs. I have to laugh when people ask me the purpose of my blog. Because really, to be fair, most blogs are about one something or another. They follow the progress of a project, they do product reviews, they promote an author, etc. etc. back to the question of the purpose of this blog. Honestly even after at least a year of blogging, I have no concrete direction. I enjoy writing exactly what I want when I want. I love my mishmash of product reviews, book reviews, life stories, and just general ramblings. Why do you follow the HK Bar blog? What was the reason?
I am genuinely interested in why you as a reader follow the blog. What would you like to see more of? What do you like or even dislike about Life on The HK Bar?