Sometimes putting forth the effort with a partner is just plain exhausting. But honestly after almost nine years of marriage and almost thirteen years into our relationship I am finally realizing it is so worth it. Slow learner , eh? Well, I guess we are all on the learning curve somewhere. 🙂
What is spurring me to write this piece? Well, honestly it is because I have really noticed a difference in not only my own attitude, but my husbands, after I have put in the maintenance time. It is actually so simple that it is painful. He’s happier, and I am happier. What have I done you ask?
I’ve made a valiant effort to make myself happy first, my children happy second, and my husband happy last. Most people would probably argue that I should put my husband up higher on the list. Nope, not this Mama. I always told my husband my kids come before anyone, even him. See the way I worded that? I guess I should really say OUR kids and not MY kids. I mean after all I guess they are after all a little his too. Anyhow back to topic……
I think putting myself first takes the stress off my back for so many reasons. First of all my needs are met first, so I am not so strung out tired from having met everyone else’s needs and sucked dry, while waiting for someone to come to my rescue. I am already “taken care of” so anything my husband says or does is just extra. Anything my kids say or do is just extra. This makes complete sense in my head, are you following my squirrel trail?
I know some of you may be rolling yours eyes and saying ummm yeah how selfish you mean! Haha. Maybe I would have thought that too once upon a time. But not now. I see that if I take care of myself first I am more effective for everyone else. I go about my daily mundane tasks with more enthusiasm because I am truly happy, I am truly more energized. And maybe a small part of it is because I often feel like I have so little control in my life. Three kids and a husband that works three jobs tends to rule a person at times. Or maybe the fact is really that I am utterly left to rule to kingdom when my husband is working and away all the time. That’s probably more accurate. I feel the pressure sometimes and it is overwhelming.
So that’s basically the gist of my whole piece. I’ve learned to put myself first and everything else tends to fall into place. With only minor snags here and there. But I guess I should explain the title. “Someday Baby” these are the words my husband says when I talk about one of my dreams coming true, or when I speak of a big project I want to happen.god bless my husbands heart he always listens patiently and says “Someday Baby”. Some times I think he truly believes it, sometimes I think he just says it to humor me. I have always had some lofty dreams/goals/ideas. His words are sweet, but the next time he says “someday baby” I am going to say, “Now Baby” because I am the one truly in control of those dreams and goals that I have.
Putting yourself first isn’t always the selfish route. I think it is almost truly the most unselfish act you can achieve, because everyone gets the purest, highest charged version of yourself. So that’s my little piece of thought from the HK Bar this Sunday morning. Today I’m not listening to “Someday Baby”, I am SAYING “NOW BABY!”