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Fitness Day 1 ; ๐Ÿ’ฆ Sweat, ๐Ÿ˜ญ Tears, and a little Leaked Urine ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

So I fell off the fitness wagon ๐Ÿš™ about ohhh….. 10 years ago?! Today I finally took a little action and started a workout that a horse friend of mine suggested. 

I couldn’t complete the 30 second wall sits, but I made it to 15! My burpees are laughable, but I tried! I had to take about five breaks. I also wet my pants ๐Ÿ‘– a little….ok a lot, I wet my pants a lot. (Thanks children!).And I thought of quitting several times…but I didn’t! I made it through the list and then I sat down and cried. I’m almost thirty one years old and I’ve let myself get so out of shape I’m ashamed. But that’s not why I cried. I cried because I did it. I set a goal (however small) and I killed it! Ok maybe I didn’t kill it but I completed it to the best of my ability. And now I feel ๐Ÿ’ช stronger than I did! 

My body will scream tomorrow, but I’m going to stick to this workout until it’s easy. ๐Ÿ˜ Tomorrow I will set another goal and I’ll kill it! In my own clumsy determined way.

Current weight 189# (Height 5′ 5)

Workout;

10 crunches, 10 jumping jacks, 5 push-ups, 5 squats, 30 second wall sit, 15 arm circles, 10 mountain climbers, 5 burpees, 30 Second plank, 10 jump squats, 10 lunges each side, 15 crunches, 20 knee highs, 10 tricept dips, 10 push-ups, 10 squats, 20 jumping jacks, 30 second plank, 20 bicycle crunches, 30 second wall sit, 5 burpees, 20 arm circles, 10 lunges, 10 push-ups, 20 knee highs, 10 burpees

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Dr. Blitzen Manuel

So my therapist is quite hairy. He has a strange habit of raw hide bones, and he sometimes smells as if he has rolled in something not so alive anymore. But for all his quirks he has the best talk medicine. Silence. He listens without judgment. He looks on with those big soulful eyes as I spill my doubts, worries, and problems. I am so thankful for such a kind soul that makes my life so much more whole. So cheers to Dr. Blitzen Manuel and his life altering therapy!

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Who Am I?ย 

What a complex question this is. I am so many things it is difficult to put words to the vast existence that I consider applies to that question in regards to me. Of course I am mom to the three most wonderful little girls ever. Captain Boo at six is so wise beyond her years it is often difficult to know what to do with her. Owl at three is happy, bouncy, and a natural with animals, and little Bunny at the tender age of two is enamored with heavy equipment and tractors. She is the prankster and always the first to bulldoze her way to what she wants. But I guess these ramblings about my girls really don’t answer the age old question of whom I am. But that’s where I’m wrong. They are so much of my existence I can’t help but include them in what makes me me. 

I am also a nurse. I specialize in geriatrics, also centered around hospice, rehabilitation, and long term care. I love my field of nursing and can’t imagine myself in any other field. I have been a nurse nearing nine years. Wow where has time gone? Funny enough, in nursing school I always fancied I would work in surgery or the emergency department. Something very high paced and glamorous. At what point I admitted to myself that I love the geriatric population so much I honestly can’t say. I just know it is where I began, and where I have stayed. Although I am mostly a stay at home mom (among other titles of farm wife, horseman, etc) I am able to work one evening shift a week at the facility I have been blessed enough to be employed by for the last six years. This keeps my nursing license up, as well as gives me a mental health day from my three lovely girls that can honestly drive me a bit batshit crazy at times. 

Another title I hold is one that is self appointed. It is the one of farm manager.  I take care of the livestock side and my husband takes care of the tillable/hay ground. We have an ever changing number of animals here on the HK Bar. Ten horses has been the count for nearing two years now. We have gained and lost a few, but have stayed ever steady at that number. Current number of cattle……Er……well…. My herdsman identity is a bit bruised to admit it is at seven. I sold off thirty of my herd nearly two years ago when we had to relieve some of the financial burdens we were under at the time. So I am slowly rebuilding my angus herd back to its former glory days. Let me tell you it is arduous and slow going. We currently have five chickens. Another sad farm story as fifty were slaughtered in their hen house by what only could be raccoons. Waiting till the spring to replenish my numbers there. Anywho. We also have three dogs. “Working dogs” that are good at cleaning up after the kids after meal times. And a varying number of barn cats. They seem to bring friends home then disappear as soon as I have fully vettted them. 

I would say that is the gist of who I am if I had to make it any shorter than that I don’t rightly know if I could. I love to read…..I’m quite obsessed actually. I will honestly read anything from biographies to romance. If it has words I will read it. I love to travel and try new things, but I am a huge homebody. I love my family and friends more than anything. I am a self proclaimed bulldog who is always the first to protect the ones that I love. I like to write, however terrible it is. I love my dogs and horses fiercely….ok, actually any animal I love fiercely, but hey it’s just who I am. 

So here’s a brief glimpse of how I perceive myself. I hope you have made it through this however dull it was. And I hope you now know me a bit better. Tell me, are you a new reader? Who are you? I’d honestly love to hear. 

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That Time I Lied To My Husband…

I’ve never lied to my husband…..until today.

I was scheduled to work and got called off for my shift. But I left as any other day that I would pick up a swing shift. I kissed my girls goodbye, I pleaded with my husband not to feed the girls hotdogs and chips again. (Almost the only thing he ever prepares.) I got in my car, and I drove…..

I ended up thirty miles from home at my favorite movie theatre. I bought a ticket to “Miracle From Heaven”….I bought myself a huge popcorn and a huge cherry coke and spent the next two hours crying like a baby in a dark theatre with three other strangers while my husband beleived me to be at work…..

The movie ended and then I came out to my car and read a book until the next movie I want to see shows…… And I don’t feel a damn bit guilty.

Of course I’ll end up telling my husband. Like I said before I am a terrible liar, so I don’t even attempt it. But why today did I just get in my car and leave?

Because sometimes it’s nice to be reminded that I have choices, that I have free will and still have the ability to sit in a movie theatre alone bawling my eyes out in the presence of three strangers…  It’s nice to rebel a little.

Granted this is very powder puff rebelling, BUT STILL! Aside from being mom 24/7….a farm foreman/planner…..activities scheduler for my children….Baker….nurse…..wife…business owner…. I’m still a person that can get in the car and just be a bit spontaneous. Albeit pretty safely spontaneous BUT STILL!

So I guess I did tell a lie. Not so much to my husband because I know I’ll out myself. I Lied to myself. For all those days I told myself i just couldnt get into the car and drive a bit. For all those days I didn’t take myself to a movie and bawl like a baby in the midst of three strangers as I drank a huge soda and ingested a gallon of greasy popcorn.

I’ve always been in the truth telling business. But I guess even truth tellers lie, if but only to themselves. 

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HK Bar Life Today

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It was a beautiful sunrise on the HK Bar this morning. After working a swing shift (nurse) last night and then getting up with the girls this morning, I was tired before I even started. But I just couldn’t miss seeing the start of a new day.

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We started our day the usual way baths, dressing, fixing four different hairstyles, and breakfast. The girls and I have been on an oatmeal kick. I better enjoy the easy prepared breakfast while they are still enthusiastic about it, because I know soon enough I’ll be back to cooking fried eggs, potaotes, pancakes or some such other breakfast.

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After we got Captain Boo off to school Bunny, Owl, and I did our morning chores and then went for a walk with the dogs. Even though I was tired it felt great to be out in the fresh cold air. The girls were full of giggles and energy. Much like the pack of dogs!

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The rest of the am was spent baking bread, me prepping two meals for the family today while I’m gone at work. If I don’t cook, I know hubby will take them to McDonalds. Cleaning, laundry, reading and doing lessons with the littles took up the rest of the time. Eli and I managed to sneak in a thirty minutes nap when the girls went down for thiers.

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So now its off to the shower and another swing shift for me! Can’t stop or I’ll just drop!

Until next time!

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A Slow Death for Catwoman or Will She Triumph in her food battle?

Awhile back I wrote a post about becoming Catwoman. You can find the link right here if you need the back story;
http://https://lifeonthehkbar.com/tag/catwoman/

Every time I open a coke, or eat a huge portion of food, I kill Catwoman a little more. I have made excuse after excuse for my eating habits over the past few weeks, and I’m DONE WITH THAT! I am ready to put action into my words.

The plan so  far is  to start eating better. Basically lower carbs, no processed junk, low gluten, etc. Although that seems overwhelming I am choosing to start with lunch. One meal at a time I’ll get there.

So today my first step is lunch. Taco salad!

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Ground beef grown right here on the HK Bar.

My ingredients you ask?
Ground beef, chopped lettuce, chopped onion, a few grates of cheese on top and tada! Lunch!

I have to keep it simple for now, so stay tuned for new, healthy recipes I will be trying on this journey! Time to find my inner Catwoman!

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The beginning!

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The begining!

Just a picture to look back on for when I’m fit and healthy!

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Sharing A Small World

It’s been a little over two years now that my world became smaller in so many ways. My journey from full time nurse to stay at home mom has narrowed my world immensely. Mind you, I don’t mean this negatively,  but realistically. Being a stay at home mom has been one of the greatest joys of my life. But it was a drastic change indeed.

I used to read four different newspapers before a 6 a.m. nursing shift, devour a dozen novels in a week, spend hours riding my horses, decide to pick up for the weekend on a whim; I did all these things and more with no abandon.

And then I became a mother.

And my world became smaller.

My reality went from career driven nurse by day, and horse adventurist by night to the mom wearing three day old clothes with spit up crusted in my hair comparing diapers in the baby department after being sleep deprived for weeks on end.

Sitting here tonight with my cat, Eli, on my lap I was reminded about these changes over my recent past. I couldn’t help but think how small his world seems to me, and how much alike we truly are. After all he is a house cat and a little over 2,000 square feet is his/our whole world, my husband, Boo, Owl, and Bunny are often the only human interactions we have for days on end, we are both ridiculously excited by food, and anything bright and shiny, and we always seem to seek each other out.

I’m so thankful to have a companion to share my small world with me. He’s an unwavering testament that happiness doesn’t require a BIG world.

My Eli looks out the window at the birds and the trees and the big world that lies beyond his small world. He knows there is a big world out there, and he knows that someday he can venture out once again into this big world via his small world. But until then, much like me he  is content to soak up the laughter of the girls, to bask in the warmth of my husband, to feel these fleeting moments till they are engrained on our bones…..because he, like I, know that this small world won’t last forevor and one day all too soon we will be shoved back into a bigger world.

I’ve found my “smaller world” holds so much more happiness and profoundness than my “big world” ever did. And I thank my boy Eli for reminding me of this.

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Eli