This post is brought to you upon inspiration from my new old ugly horse trailer. Yes, I’m serious.
My husband came home with my new trailer about a week ago. He has always known I’d like to have a three Horse with a small tack area, and a nose cone I could put an air mattress in and sleep. And here it is! I have to laugh because he kept telling me how old and ugly it was before he brought it home. He said he wanted to prepare me for what I was actually getting and not some built up image in my mind.
Which brings me to my point. The value of something is individual to ones perception. For example my husband thought I may be a little disappointed with my new trailer. When in fact, I am so completely happy. It is exactly what I hoped for. Sure it needs a door latch instead of the bungee cord that is in place now, and the back doors need put back on, and two boards need replaced. BUT I HAVE A HORSE TRAILER I ALWAYS WANTED!!!!!
I had a friend once tell me that I’m “always just so dang thankful!” And I’m happy that I have this outlook, because as Cliche as it may seem, I am thankful….for everything in my life. So don’t let someone make you feel bad for seeing the value of something in your own life that may not shine to others.
A mutt dog isn’t worth less than a pedigree pooch.
A state university education isn’t any more valuable than a hard knocks university education.
A suit and tie doesn’t mean more power than jeans and boots.
And an old paint peeled three Horse with a bungee cord door latch isn’t any worse than a brand new aluminum.
You yourself can only determine the value of something …..
I actually googled how to write a love letter. Pathetic? Maybe so. I told y’all I had killed (or very nearly) killed the romance in my marriage. But hey, I am TRYING here. So what did I uncover in my google search? Basically the best advice I read was to write the love letter HE would like to receive not the one YOU would like to receive. Also other good points were to keep the wording simple. You don’t really need to write a novel about how you love to watch him sleep (I think that is creepy as all get out. But hey, who am I to say I mean really I had to google how to write a love letter! ) be to the point and straight forward using simple terms. And another last but very good point is, men don’t necessarily want to hear they are handsome, they want to hear they are appreciated, admired, and needed.
So after composing at least half a dozen long winded flowery love letters I opted to take some well given advice and see where it took me. I wrote a very short and very well intentioned letter to my husband and used a few of my daughter’s stickers to tape it to the back door. I put it right above the knob so that he has to see it.
Even though it is very simple, I hope that it makes him smile that I took the time and thought of him. So now we wait, and see what the outcome is. Update to follow.
Seriously though, in the twelve years with my husband, I have so killed the romance in our relationship. I used to be the one that tried to find the perfect gift for him for holidays. I would always send thoughtful and sometimes naughty (not like x-rated, more like a smidge between pg-13 and R) text messages, I would always beg to be snuggled, etc. etc. I could sit here and type all the mushy crap I used to do, but then I’d be repulsed at myself and have to cringe a little remembering such drivel. (Why do I think it is drivel now a days? )
When did I really cut Romance’s throat? For the life of me I can’t say that I can put my finger on a particular space of time that I said to myself, “Ok, this lovey dovey crap just has to end, NOW!” Because really I am truly a romantic at heart. I always want the couple to fall in love and live a happy every after. I always ooh and ahhh when I see a couple basking in some romantic event or occasion.
So why have I cut it out in my own marriage?
I honestly, for the life of me cannot answer this question. I think as time has passed I have just slowly done less and less. I quit putting the effort in for whatever hundred thousand reasons I can think of, until here I am today, knowing I don’t do anything romantic anymore for my husband.
One thing I do know is that I love my husband very much. He is the only person that can make me as mad as he can and I still know at the end of the day that I want him with me. Even if he is a big old idiot sometimes. He’s still my person. So I think I will be putting some effort into breathing life back into Romance. Maybe, if I am lucky I haven’t really killed him off completely. Maybe he can be rescusitated.
So the research begins to bring Romance back to life. I am thinking the first thing I will attempt is 1. Write him a love letter 2. Plan a date that is all about HIM. And past that is where my view becomes hazy. But hey, it is a start. What are some romantic things you have done for your significant other? What does romance even mean to you?
After I put some ideas together I will update you on how this journey goes for me! I look forward to hearing your thoughts and suggestions on this one!
Have you ever wondered what it’s like in the HK Bar house? Imagine mass chaos. Five loads of clean laundry in all stages of care (but hey, at least it is all clean right?), the China hutch turned kids book shelf in complete disarray (hey, at least they are reading), only half of the five million pairs of shoes the four women of the house own (why do we have so many shoes? I need to find a cool Pinterest shoe keeper solution), worn carpet that needs restricted, and a fat lazy cat that couldn’t even manage to kill the mouse that has been stealing out of his bowl.
This is just a small piece of the HK Life. I often imagine what type of homes and people are behind all the blogs that I subscribe to. You are all interesting in your own ways and I really do enjoy keeping up with your blogs. I have to laugh when people ask me the purpose of my blog. Because really, to be fair, most blogs are about one something or another. They follow the progress of a project, they do product reviews, they promote an author, etc. etc. back to the question of the purpose of this blog. Honestly even after at least a year of blogging, I have no concrete direction. I enjoy writing exactly what I want when I want. I love my mishmash of product reviews, book reviews, life stories, and just general ramblings. Why do you follow the HK Bar blog? What was the reason?
I am genuinely interested in why you as a reader follow the blog. What would you like to see more of? What do you like or even dislike about Life on The HK Bar?
About a month ago we had our kickoff for our horse show circuit. It was a general meeting and open arena. I was very excited about taking Flash to get her some experience. And then she wouldn’t load on the trailer. She absolutely refused. So since then I have been working with her.
Today she hopped right in like a pro. I loaded her bestie , Grace, and also used a bit of grain to tempt her with. She did very well getting on and off the trailer a half dozen times. Then she was groomed and fly sprayed along with Grace. Wow was I excited!
A very proud moment for me and Flash.
Flash and Grace
Ibam so proud of her. Now we will be doing this loading in the trailer daily for the next few weeks. Our first show is May 29tj and it looks like Flash will be aboard!
Blitz’s new obsession is the soccer ball! My oh my this boy can chase and play for hours with it! I know what someone is getting for gotchya day! ❤
I’ve never lied to my husband…..until today.
I was scheduled to work and got called off for my shift. But I left as any other day that I would pick up a swing shift. I kissed my girls goodbye, I pleaded with my husband not to feed the girls hotdogs and chips again. (Almost the only thing he ever prepares.) I got in my car, and I drove…..
I ended up thirty miles from home at my favorite movie theatre. I bought a ticket to “Miracle From Heaven”….I bought myself a huge popcorn and a huge cherry coke and spent the next two hours crying like a baby in a dark theatre with three other strangers while my husband beleived me to be at work…..
The movie ended and then I came out to my car and read a book until the next movie I want to see shows…… And I don’t feel a damn bit guilty.
Of course I’ll end up telling my husband. Like I said before I am a terrible liar, so I don’t even attempt it. But why today did I just get in my car and leave?
Because sometimes it’s nice to be reminded that I have choices, that I have free will and still have the ability to sit in a movie theatre alone bawling my eyes out in the presence of three strangers… It’s nice to rebel a little.
Granted this is very powder puff rebelling, BUT STILL! Aside from being mom 24/7….a farm foreman/planner…..activities scheduler for my children….Baker….nurse…..wife…business owner…. I’m still a person that can get in the car and just be a bit spontaneous. Albeit pretty safely spontaneous BUT STILL!
So I guess I did tell a lie. Not so much to my husband because I know I’ll out myself. I Lied to myself. For all those days I told myself i just couldnt get into the car and drive a bit. For all those days I didn’t take myself to a movie and bawl like a baby in the midst of three strangers as I drank a huge soda and ingested a gallon of greasy popcorn.
I’ve always been in the truth telling business. But I guess even truth tellers lie, if but only to themselves.