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PRIORITIES MAMA, PRIORITIES


As I’m getting ready to get the girls’ breakfast around Boo rushes over with a mug of water to put in the microwave. She says, “Your coffee has to come before our breakfast.” I say, “That’s really sweet, but you guys should get your breakfast before I get my coffee.” Boo gives me a half hearted grin and says, “No Mom you are so wrong!” I say, “Why shouldn’t I fix your breakfast first?” Boo chuckles and says, “Because you microwaved my corn flakes last week…. you need coffee before you do the things…priorities Mama, priorities…”

#keepinitreal #ionlydidthatonce! #reallifeatthestaleyhouse

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So I was Basically the Mean Girl

Last week I took my three girls shopping for new bathing suits as the following week swimming lessons were scheduled to start. Because we live in a fairly small rural town we made a day of going to “the city ” (Lawrence, Kansas) -big but not the big city. 

We pulled up in the parking lot of Target and the traffic was fairly busy so I told my oldest daughter Boo, whom is 7, to exit her side of our Yukon and walk round to the front and stand close to me as I still had to unbuckle my two youngest daughters (Owl 4 years old and Bunny 3 years old) from thier car seats. Boo exited the vehicle as I’d instructed and starts to make her way round our Yukon when I notice a lady exit an SUV on Boo’s side. She is looking at Boo and I can hear her ask her a question. I’m unbuckling the two little girls and watching this unfold. Of course as a mom that frequently travels with all three of my young girls, I am very aware of my surroundings and alarm bells are sounding in my head. I am literally mentally shouting at Boo to quickly get round my side of the Yukon. 

Thankfully I have frequently had the stranger talk with my girls. And just as Boo and I had practiced she didn’t pay the lady any mind and high tailed it to my side. I did a collective sigh when I had my hands on her shoulder. But then ! The lady from the SUV continues to walk round to us standing on our side of the Yukon and says to me, “Wow, you have a whole crew there!” I commenced to nodding and paying her no attention. I look up expecting her to have gone but she’s standing at the end of the Yukon just staring. If my alarm bells were yelling before they were utterly screaming now. There is no way this woman could be up to any good. 

She then proceeds to say, “Nice Yukon, it looks much newer than in your pictures.” Meanwhile I’m thinking what? I don’t know you! What scam is this?! 

I’ll tell you what happened next. I became 😡 angry. How dare someone think to threaten the existence of me or my daughters. So I did what any insane mother bear would do, I became the mean girl. I squared my shoulders, tucked my girls behind me and lifted my shirt enough to reveal my shoulder holster and pistol. And I said, “I don’t know what you’re going on about but I don’t know you and I’d be obliged that you respect the space of me and my girls.” I didn’t draw on her or anything of the like, but I wanted to send a very clear message. 

The color commenced to drain from her face at an alarming rate and she put her hands palm up in mock surrender and said, “I’m supposed to meet a lady with a black Yukon for sale.” 

Before I could say anything more a black Yukon, identical to mine with a few more bumps and bruises pulled up next to her, rolled down the window and asked if she was so and so that agreed to meet to look at the Yukon for sale…..

I tipped my hat and took my brood on in to the store. In the moment I didn’t think much about the whole experience, just the fact that I was relieved this woman whom I’d thought a threat truly was just meeting someone and it was a case of mistaken identity. 

But these few days later it appals me that I even feel the need to behave in such a way in today’s society. I grew up where everyone left doors unlocked, where everyone said hello and offered you a cup of coffee even if you weren’t a familiar face. And here I am today in a public car park with my three girls armed to the teeth and ready to push back if threatened. Has it really come to this? 

I don’t want to teach my girls that the world is a place to be scared of. I do want to teach them to be prepared, aware, and minimize themselves as a target or victim of crime. In today’s world how do we do this without going overboard? 

So today I’m praying for knowledge, the knowledge to lead my girls and raise them into independent women that can protect themselves, but yet be the person that still offers a friendly word to a stranger in a car park. 

How do you raise children in today’s society to toe the middle of the road between safe, yet still personable ?

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Dr. Blitzen Manuel

So my therapist is quite hairy. He has a strange habit of raw hide bones, and he sometimes smells as if he has rolled in something not so alive anymore. But for all his quirks he has the best talk medicine. Silence. He listens without judgment. He looks on with those big soulful eyes as I spill my doubts, worries, and problems. I am so thankful for such a kind soul that makes my life so much more whole. So cheers to Dr. Blitzen Manuel and his life altering therapy!

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Life Today on the HK Bar

Today it’s cold(ish) and rainy. I have a severe head cold that is trying to kill me. I wheeze like I smoke two packs a day. (Never have, never will). Boo had a field trip to the Punkin’ Patch today. Does it make me a terrible mom if im so glad I didn’t sign up to chaperone? Mud and screaming children. Rain. Did I mention all that mud?  Yeah, sorry not sorry. 

So the little people did  chores and then came inside. They wanted to paint. I wanted to blog. So that’s what we have been doing! It has been the perfect activity this morning. Windows open and paint supplies out. 😊

Even Eli is lazy today.  He hasn’t been doing his wind sprints like usual this morning. He looks like I feel lethargic and fat. 

In other news my little Blitz Manny has graduated to porch duty. No kennel for this guy. He can finally be trusted not to eat the feather babies (chickens), chase cars (ok maybe the occasional ATV), or harass the cows and horses. I’m so proud of this guy . I’ve invited him in but he prefers to avoid Eli’s glare. So Blitz Manny is happy to be found on his bed on the front porch, usually curled up with his favorite flat, abused, blue basketball. . 

S

So this is me checking in from the HK Bar. Peace and have a wonderful day!

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Handling His Meat With Precision; Operation Romance Phase 2

I finally decided on my next phase of operation romance! I made my husband a suprise steak lunch. What did you expect from the title? Gezzz you sicko, I literally meant I handled his meat,  you know the kind you EAT….errr….well, that could be misconstrued as well. Okay starting over, I made my husband a kick ass suprise lunch in an attempt to bring back some romance to our marriage. I seriously have been tuned out for awhile. 

Anyhow. I made marinated beef ribeye steaks (raised and butchered right here on the HK Bar), corn, and seasoned mashed potatoes. He was a happy man! I sat across the table staring at him as he took his first bite. He wore a worried look as he took his first bite. I said, “What’s wrong honey?” He said, “I don’t know I keep waiting for you to tell me. You have been so attentive these past few days I keep waiting for the punch line. I have to admit it has me a bit worried.” 

Im sure he saw my eager, happy face fall with his comment. Gezzz I know I’m not huge on romance, but I didn’t realize I have been the ultimate romance Scrooge. I told him, “I realized I have not been very attentive to you, or very romantic for a long time. I truly have had a great time first writing your note, and planning your suprise lunch. I guess I would worry a bit too if I were in your shoes. Not that you have to worry, I just wanted to do something nice for you.”  A genuine smile lit up his face and he took my hand from across the table. He even put his fork down to do this, and that is HUGE for my husband, although thin, he loves his food. And he said, “I really liked your note. It made me smile, and it was really sweet of you. Thank you, it is nice to be thought of.” And then he commenced to devouring my suprise lunch with impressive speed. 

So I guess after the initial shock of Operation Romance wears off my husband might not always look so Leary when I do something nice for him. We had some good moments during his lunch. And I truly did enjoy preparing the meal and coming up with the menu. Usually I’m not a huge fan of cooking. It’s not that I’m bad at it, because I’m not, it’s more the fact that everyone has to eat and it just becomes one more chore on my list to check off three times a day. This time was different. I really did feel like I was pouring my love into this meal. And I’m happy that it was received so well. 

So cheers to handling my husbands meat so well, and on to the next planning phase for Operation Romance. HMMMMM what will I do? What will it be? Stay tuned! 

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Romance Is Dead, Because I Killed It

Seriously though, in the twelve years with my husband, I have so killed the romance in our relationship. I used to be the one that tried to find the perfect gift for him for holidays. I would always send thoughtful and sometimes naughty (not like x-rated, more like a smidge between pg-13 and R) text messages, I would always beg to be snuggled, etc. etc. I could sit here and type all the mushy crap I used to do, but then I’d be repulsed at myself and have to cringe a little remembering such drivel. (Why do I think it is drivel now a days? )

When did I really cut Romance’s throat? For the life of me I can’t say that I can put my finger on a particular space of time that  I said to myself, “Ok, this lovey dovey crap just has to end, NOW!”  Because really I  am truly a romantic at heart. I always want the couple to fall in love and live a happy every after. I always ooh and ahhh when I see a couple basking in some romantic event or occasion. 

So why have I cut it out in my own marriage? 

I honestly, for the life of me cannot answer this question. I think as time has passed I have just slowly done less and less. I quit putting the effort in for whatever hundred thousand reasons I can think of, until here I am today, knowing I don’t do anything romantic anymore for my husband. 

One thing I do know is that I love my husband very much. He is the only person that can make me as mad as he can and I still know at the end of the day that I want him with me. Even if he is a big old idiot sometimes. He’s still my person. So I think I will be putting some effort into breathing life back into Romance. Maybe, if  I am lucky I haven’t really killed him off completely. Maybe he can be rescusitated. 

So the research begins to bring Romance back to life. I am thinking the first thing I will attempt is 1. Write him a love letter 2. Plan a date that is all about HIM. And past that is where my view becomes hazy. But hey, it is a start. What are some romantic things you have done for your significant other? What does romance even mean to you? 

After I put some ideas together I will update you on how this journey goes for me! I look forward to hearing your thoughts and suggestions on this one!