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God’s Perfect Timing, and my heartbreak

My Aunt died Tuesday. She was 53 years young and so full of life….until she wasn’t. Through all this I know God has perfect timing. I’m trusting his hand in this and just holding strong for those around me that are shredded by grief and pain and loss.

I put on a smile and hug those that need it most. I retell stories from happy times gone by. Like when my Aunt bought me and my brother and my cousin super soakers (waterguns) for Christmas one year and we played outside in the snow and cold for hours with her climbing trees and ducking around corners to surprise each other with a face full of water. Her smile was radiant. She took me to minister and feed the homeless on numerous occasions. No neighborhood too scary or tough for the 115 lb God fearing ball of love that was my Aunt. She was armed with bibles and Gods light, because that’s all she needed in this life. And numerous other stories I’ll clutch in my heart and retell again and again.

This morning is the eve of goodbye and my heart is breaking for those around me. I’m having a stiff drink and scheduling time with my bible.

Please pray. Pray for peace and comfort and wisdom in this journey.

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Sometimes My Brain Needs Monotony; Killing the Sharpener 14 Pencils ✏️ In…

So I was sitting here at the table. My two youngest coloring and blasting me with a hail storm of questions, “look at mes” , and just general little kid banter. I love my children . Like a lot. Like to the point I’d rather hang out with my kids than most other people. (Except PInk or Lady GaGa, I’d totally drop my kids to go hang with them…) But you know that moment when you feel as if your brain will burst ? Yeah, I was there….so totally there…One more, “Look at this Mom!” And I was totally going to lose my crap.

Sometimes my brain just needs a monotonous task to zone out to. So I decided to sharpen all those pencils my kids get for holidays, random school parties etc. I counted 39 total. Awesome! Total zone out work. As I began sharpening I immediately felt more calm. The noise of the sharpener tends to drown out the kids talking and I can just smile and nod for awhile. Perfect peace! I was feeling pretty zen ….until the pencil sharpener over heated and died a tragic death on pencil ✏️ #14!

Am I the only one that needs some zone out time?! #askingforafriend

So with dead 💀 sharpener in hand I gave it the old sendoff. To the trash my faithful zen master.

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PRIORITIES MAMA, PRIORITIES


As I’m getting ready to get the girls’ breakfast around Boo rushes over with a mug of water to put in the microwave. She says, “Your coffee has to come before our breakfast.” I say, “That’s really sweet, but you guys should get your breakfast before I get my coffee.” Boo gives me a half hearted grin and says, “No Mom you are so wrong!” I say, “Why shouldn’t I fix your breakfast first?” Boo chuckles and says, “Because you microwaved my corn flakes last week…. you need coffee before you do the things…priorities Mama, priorities…”

#keepinitreal #ionlydidthatonce! #reallifeatthestaleyhouse

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So I was Basically the Mean Girl

Last week I took my three girls shopping for new bathing suits as the following week swimming lessons were scheduled to start. Because we live in a fairly small rural town we made a day of going to “the city ” (Lawrence, Kansas) -big but not the big city. 

We pulled up in the parking lot of Target and the traffic was fairly busy so I told my oldest daughter Boo, whom is 7, to exit her side of our Yukon and walk round to the front and stand close to me as I still had to unbuckle my two youngest daughters (Owl 4 years old and Bunny 3 years old) from thier car seats. Boo exited the vehicle as I’d instructed and starts to make her way round our Yukon when I notice a lady exit an SUV on Boo’s side. She is looking at Boo and I can hear her ask her a question. I’m unbuckling the two little girls and watching this unfold. Of course as a mom that frequently travels with all three of my young girls, I am very aware of my surroundings and alarm bells are sounding in my head. I am literally mentally shouting at Boo to quickly get round my side of the Yukon. 

Thankfully I have frequently had the stranger talk with my girls. And just as Boo and I had practiced she didn’t pay the lady any mind and high tailed it to my side. I did a collective sigh when I had my hands on her shoulder. But then ! The lady from the SUV continues to walk round to us standing on our side of the Yukon and says to me, “Wow, you have a whole crew there!” I commenced to nodding and paying her no attention. I look up expecting her to have gone but she’s standing at the end of the Yukon just staring. If my alarm bells were yelling before they were utterly screaming now. There is no way this woman could be up to any good. 

She then proceeds to say, “Nice Yukon, it looks much newer than in your pictures.” Meanwhile I’m thinking what? I don’t know you! What scam is this?! 

I’ll tell you what happened next. I became 😡 angry. How dare someone think to threaten the existence of me or my daughters. So I did what any insane mother bear would do, I became the mean girl. I squared my shoulders, tucked my girls behind me and lifted my shirt enough to reveal my shoulder holster and pistol. And I said, “I don’t know what you’re going on about but I don’t know you and I’d be obliged that you respect the space of me and my girls.” I didn’t draw on her or anything of the like, but I wanted to send a very clear message. 

The color commenced to drain from her face at an alarming rate and she put her hands palm up in mock surrender and said, “I’m supposed to meet a lady with a black Yukon for sale.” 

Before I could say anything more a black Yukon, identical to mine with a few more bumps and bruises pulled up next to her, rolled down the window and asked if she was so and so that agreed to meet to look at the Yukon for sale…..

I tipped my hat and took my brood on in to the store. In the moment I didn’t think much about the whole experience, just the fact that I was relieved this woman whom I’d thought a threat truly was just meeting someone and it was a case of mistaken identity. 

But these few days later it appals me that I even feel the need to behave in such a way in today’s society. I grew up where everyone left doors unlocked, where everyone said hello and offered you a cup of coffee even if you weren’t a familiar face. And here I am today in a public car park with my three girls armed to the teeth and ready to push back if threatened. Has it really come to this? 

I don’t want to teach my girls that the world is a place to be scared of. I do want to teach them to be prepared, aware, and minimize themselves as a target or victim of crime. In today’s world how do we do this without going overboard? 

So today I’m praying for knowledge, the knowledge to lead my girls and raise them into independent women that can protect themselves, but yet be the person that still offers a friendly word to a stranger in a car park. 

How do you raise children in today’s society to toe the middle of the road between safe, yet still personable ?

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Dr. Blitzen Manuel

So my therapist is quite hairy. He has a strange habit of raw hide bones, and he sometimes smells as if he has rolled in something not so alive anymore. But for all his quirks he has the best talk medicine. Silence. He listens without judgment. He looks on with those big soulful eyes as I spill my doubts, worries, and problems. I am so thankful for such a kind soul that makes my life so much more whole. So cheers to Dr. Blitzen Manuel and his life altering therapy!

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Life Today on the HK Bar

Today it’s cold(ish) and rainy. I have a severe head cold that is trying to kill me. I wheeze like I smoke two packs a day. (Never have, never will). Boo had a field trip to the Punkin’ Patch today. Does it make me a terrible mom if im so glad I didn’t sign up to chaperone? Mud and screaming children. Rain. Did I mention all that mud?  Yeah, sorry not sorry. 

So the little people did  chores and then came inside. They wanted to paint. I wanted to blog. So that’s what we have been doing! It has been the perfect activity this morning. Windows open and paint supplies out. 😊

Even Eli is lazy today.  He hasn’t been doing his wind sprints like usual this morning. He looks like I feel lethargic and fat. 

In other news my little Blitz Manny has graduated to porch duty. No kennel for this guy. He can finally be trusted not to eat the feather babies (chickens), chase cars (ok maybe the occasional ATV), or harass the cows and horses. I’m so proud of this guy . I’ve invited him in but he prefers to avoid Eli’s glare. So Blitz Manny is happy to be found on his bed on the front porch, usually curled up with his favorite flat, abused, blue basketball. . 

S

So this is me checking in from the HK Bar. Peace and have a wonderful day!