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What do you want now, my blood or my soul? Five Easy Ways to Take Back Time for Yourself


Do you ever have those moments as a parent that you just want to shout, “No! No! No! ITS MINE YOU CANT HAVE IT TO!” Because your children 👶 suck the ever loving life right the hell out of you? I mean really I gave up my body, my personal space, my time… I gave up sleeping in (ooooh I miss this one), eating candy outside of the pantry (because really the kids can hear that friggin crinkly wrapper a mile away) , and the list goes on…. My point? Well, sometimes in my parenting journey I just want to have something left for myself. As you can see from the above picture I can’t even eat a buttered sweet potatoe without someone pleading with thier eyes to share with them. Oi vay!

Here are a few simple ways I take back a little for myself even in a busy stay at home mom way of life:

  1. Write yourself into your schedule! Do you keep a planner? Block off some time just for yourself to read a book, pull weeds, lockbox, or whatever it is that you do by yourself that recharges you. All to often I get so wrapped up in everyone else’s schedule of needs I forget to make time for my own.
  2. Embrace nap time 😴! If your kids still take naps STOP ✋ trying to dash around like a crazy person trying to get all those chores done “while you have time” and they are asleep.  I know it’s tempting but really, just leave the clothes and dirty dishes were they are. Take the time to recharge your own battery. Catch some zzzzzs! If your kids have outgrown nap time, implement quiet time were all electronics are off and it’s books and quiet toys only.
  3. Get up early or go to bed later than you usually do. Don’t get me wrong sleep is important! But even fifteen minutes to yourself sometimes makes all the difference.
  4. Limit your extracurriculars. All those activities that have you running kids back and forth all week? Yeah those! Sit down and really consider which ones to keep. I tell my girls one sport or extracurricular at a time. Less time on those makes my girls really appreciate the activity they choose and value it. They get so much more out of it and it frees up so much time! 
  5. Ask yourself “What can I delegate?” My seven year old can unload the dishwasher. Will she do it exactly like I would? No, not at all! And sometimes I’ll have to deal with my favorite coffee cup being put way in the back. But my point is she CAN do it, and it frees me up from doing it and it teaches her responsibility and basic life skills. And I always try to tell my kids hey let’s get our team spirit on and get the chores knocked out first so then we can ALL PLAY! 

So when I’m on the verge of mommy melt down time I try to take a step back and reimplement these tips. I re-evaluate and more often than not if I’m following my own advice I feel so much better! Hope this helps!

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The HomeFront HK Bar

Life on the Homefront continues to be a blur. Lots of sickness, school activities, and planning for the next year has been happening. I find myself asking , ” How is it even February…..errrrrr…..nearly March?!?” Does anyone else feel like that? I, sure there will be at least a few yeses from out there in cyber world. Come on just make me feel better and agree? 

So what has been happening on the HK? In the animal departments  I have sold off all but two of my cattle. Sad, hey? Bills needed paying and so the herd was the easiest asset to turn into money. The reason we still have two? It’s only by chance. One mature one that belongs to my oldest daughter Boo, seven years old, is so damn crazy we haven’t been able to get her loaded into the stock trailer. I see some roping and dragging in Jo and I’s near future. So crazy is in a pasture all by herself and then there was the case of the other stray. A bucket calf owned by my middle daughter Owl, whom is four years old, was left off the trailer due to Owl throwing a tremendous fit! Tears everywhere as she begged her Daddy not to sell her Priscilla #47 Church!!! Needless to stay Priscilla is safely bedded down with two of our older minis that were showing some age this winter. Twilight and Louise the two minis are enjoying being out of the herd. They don’t have to fight for their place in the feed line and get extra scratches from all of us.

Currently our chicken brood is holding steady at about nine hens. They started producing eggs again, so at least they are earning keep. Our rooster met an untimely demise from a Hawk…..and then my husband shot the hawk . Circle of life stuff and discussions were had with the  three cowgirls in residence. They all took it  in thief own ways.

The horse herd is steady at an uneven nine. The two minis I mentioned before Twilight and Louise are babysitting Priscilla. Jo my best saddle horse is getting ridden pretty frequently at two to three times per week. I am looking forward to a ton of trail riding with her this summer and a few barrel races after we are both back in shape. Flash my coming two year old is doing great. She continues to learn just how to be a horse in the herd. I have made the decision tohold her out of formal training until next year. We have her on the books to spend three months with Cal Noyons and his family next spring. There she will get a ranch type education and be turned into a good hand. This year I will be ponying her behind Jo on various trail rides as well as attending a few workshops scheduled at our local saddle club. Romeo my daughter Boos gelding is fat and sassy. He has been getting pulled out once or twice a week for her to ride. After some epic spills last year Boo is focusing on gaining confidence and just having fun. This will be healing year for both of them. Katelyn our old rescue POA is holding steady. She is somewhere around twenty three years old and still going strong. She will be helping to teach my lessons kids this spring summer fall. Our farrier is still amazed at how her feet have recovered since coming to the HK. I’m personally very proud that we could do that for her. Our young minis, Grace and Rose continue to be fun for the little girls to groom and drag around as well as are great teachers to the lessons girls. And then we have the odd lady out, Angel whom came to us last year. Our plans for her this year are so far undecided. With so much going on she tends to play last card to everything in the training plans.

Our current dog count is at four.Bullet and Blitz recently turned two and four. They continue to learn. Blitz is our ovzealous guard dog. He has graduated to no kennel and patrols freely. Bullet still hugs my heels on our outings and has come out of her shell, she now has added fetching to her bag of tricks. Precious who belongs to Boo has moved up in the world and into the HK house. Boo has taken over her completely now walking her a mile daily . Boo is becoming good help to have around. She frequently walks the others as well. In October we added a new face to be crew. His name is Virgil. He was adopted by my husband from Unleashed Pet Rescue. He is a small terrier mix who goes everywhere with my husband. One is rarely seen without the other. We all love the way he adds to our family. I’m sure at some point Virgil will get his own debut post.

Eli our rescue cat continues to harass the HK house with his nightly wind sprints and yowling. He hasn’t caught a mouse in over a year….. Much to my husbands displeasure. 

I guess that about does it for the animal news…. More on family next time! Cheers and prayers to you all!

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Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That!

Going to have a bit of a rant here. Will try to make it constructive. Possibly…… I’m. Just going to throw this out there. I have realized as time goes by that I have less and less time for people and their drama. I have no time to entertain other people’s fantasy crises. I have no time to ponder the should have/would have/could haves with people unless it directly effects me.  I find myself not answering phone calls, emails, messages, and even the door when it is someone whom I feel like is going to suck more energy from me. I mean really  ain’t nobody got time for that! Sound selfish? 

Maybe it is. But really I put one hundred percent effort into my family and farm, and frankly, there just isn’t much left to go around after them. I don’t feel an ounce guilty about focusing on myself and my family (and the small group of friends I consider family).  Because really at the end of the day energy spent elsewhere is just a waste. Now, I’m not talking about volunteering, church, being part of my community, etc. I’m talking about the relationships that just plain suck you dry. The ones that take valuable time and attention, and you foster them because you feel like you have to or you feel obligated, or you feel sorry for someone. 

I have to admit for a long while I was always the person that tried to be nice and attentive to everyone else. I tried to tiptoe lightly, not rock the proverbial boat, tried to always consider everyone before myself etc. and you know where that got me? Tired. That’s where it got me. Tired.

So today when I received a text message from someone I knew was a complete drain, instead of entertaining them with few worded , half hearted , agreeable responses, I simply text back. I’m sorry I am not able to talk right now, I am cooking and busy making memories with my girls. And you know what? 

They didn’t text back AT ALL. 

What a relief! So cheers to no more unnecessary distractions, cheers to cutting dead weight. Cheers to more energy and time spent where it needs to be. 

Take your bullshit elsewhere cuz really AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!

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That Time I Lied To My Husband…

I’ve never lied to my husband…..until today.

I was scheduled to work and got called off for my shift. But I left as any other day that I would pick up a swing shift. I kissed my girls goodbye, I pleaded with my husband not to feed the girls hotdogs and chips again. (Almost the only thing he ever prepares.) I got in my car, and I drove…..

I ended up thirty miles from home at my favorite movie theatre. I bought a ticket to “Miracle From Heaven”….I bought myself a huge popcorn and a huge cherry coke and spent the next two hours crying like a baby in a dark theatre with three other strangers while my husband beleived me to be at work…..

The movie ended and then I came out to my car and read a book until the next movie I want to see shows…… And I don’t feel a damn bit guilty.

Of course I’ll end up telling my husband. Like I said before I am a terrible liar, so I don’t even attempt it. But why today did I just get in my car and leave?

Because sometimes it’s nice to be reminded that I have choices, that I have free will and still have the ability to sit in a movie theatre alone bawling my eyes out in the presence of three strangers…  It’s nice to rebel a little.

Granted this is very powder puff rebelling, BUT STILL! Aside from being mom 24/7….a farm foreman/planner…..activities scheduler for my children….Baker….nurse…..wife…business owner…. I’m still a person that can get in the car and just be a bit spontaneous. Albeit pretty safely spontaneous BUT STILL!

So I guess I did tell a lie. Not so much to my husband because I know I’ll out myself. I Lied to myself. For all those days I told myself i just couldnt get into the car and drive a bit. For all those days I didn’t take myself to a movie and bawl like a baby in the midst of three strangers as I drank a huge soda and ingested a gallon of greasy popcorn.

I’ve always been in the truth telling business. But I guess even truth tellers lie, if but only to themselves. 

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30

Today I turned 30. Wow! Aside from turning thirty I decided it was also time to grow the hell up.

My day began with my middle daughter Owl, feeding the cat.

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She was terribly proud of herself, but wouldnt  smile for the picture I took as I stood with my hair wrapped in a towel and only wearing  a pair of underwear. I was in shower mode when I heard the cat food cascade and Owl proudly announce, “Happy Birthday mama I fed Eli all by myself for your birthday!”

I couldn’t be upset with her at all. I just laughed, told her Thank you! What a great birthday present! What a big girl you are! And that’s when I realized all the other times I would have gotten angry and annoyed. I would have focused on having to clean up another mess and I don’t have time for this, oh my god! Attitude.

Today I’m thirty and a light bulb clicked. It’s time to let all that go, and just grow up.

Had a great morning getting the girls fed and bathed, and round for the day. Boo gave  me a special gift and told me happy birthday.

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A miniature hair dryer from her shopkins collection. She said, “I gave it to you because you blow dry my hair every morning and it reminded me of that special time we spend together every morning…..and because I didn’t particularly like it. So you’re 30 now? Wow, how’s that feel? So you’re like half way to dead now, right?”

Once again all I could do was laugh. I gave her a big hug and said, “Yep, pretty much!”

After dropping Boo off at school the littles and I went to do chores. Only to find another disaster. Romeo standing with his leg caught through the barbed wire fence and blood everywhere. Thank god he didn’t struggle. He is so sensible. He stood there who knows how long waiting for me to find him and get him out.

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He let me maneuver his foot out and assess the damage. All I could think of was cut tendons and ligaments. Nope! Just two small puncture marks from the barbs. Yikes! So a call to the vet, $48, antibiotic, tetanus booster, and some cream later we should be set. Dont mind the twenty years the stress of it shaved off my life on my birthday no less!

After that debacle I came in and managed to burn out oatmeal I’d made for breakfast.

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Once again, I realized I am now 30 and spending the energy being mad about the situation would be useless so I fed it to the dog and started over.

Then hubby cam home and was running late from his first job to second job. He came in to change into dry socks, boot, and pants in order to head out to haul cattle. (Snow had gotten first pair wet) He said a hurried hello, and I’ll be home when I can, oh yeah happy birthday, bye! As he was walking out the door. I started to tear up, thinking, for gods sake its my thirtieth birthday!!!! Doesn’t that mean anything?? That’s where. I realized yet again, that yes, this is thirty, and all that a thirtieth birthday means is that it’s time to grow the hell up. Which includes not feeling sorry for yourself.

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And then I just sat on the window seat snuggling with Owl and Bunny. I told them a wild story, making it up as I went. I watched thier little faces go through emotions of happy, sad, scared, and joyful as I told the tale of Banner the Circus Horse! And then yet again, that’s when I realized this is thirty. All the beautiful, all the hurry, all the sad, all the mess, all the injury, all the smiles, all my girls, all my crazy beautiful life…… This is 30, and its the best time of my life yet. ❤

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You know you are a nurse, mom, horseman, farm owner when….

You know it when your vehicle looks like mine on a normal, average day.

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You know you can haul two 20″ truck tires in the cargo hold, eight fifty pound bags of horse grain, two fifty pound bags of dog food in the center, and still have more crap.

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You know this when you have your trusty muck boots and most functional gloves you can chore or ride in. Oh and don’t forget the nappies! Yes, because I am still a mom among other professions.

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Oh and then of course the passenger seat hold my nursing bag with clean uniform, sneakers, stethoscope, and other nurse paraphernalia.

I could go on, but I think you get the picture. And you know what’s even greater? I can still fit all three of my children AND Five dogs in here at the same time…..

Skills, mad skills…. But I guess that’s what you have to have when you are a nurse, mom, horseman, farm owner…..

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Captain Boo! Oh the Places You’ll Go!

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Captain Boo, my six year old daughter is such a character. She is serious, calculated, determined, and self reliant. She loves horses, super heros, books, and traveling.

This morning I went into her bedroom to put clean sheets on her bed, just a normal chore that I do every Tuesday here at the HK Bar house, but today I stopped to take in the things around me. What took my breath away were the things on her vanity. Her globe ( the one she likes to twirl around and dream of faraway places) , her favorite black Stetson cowboy hat (a hand me down from my younger years), her first bible (precious moments edition), her Batman toys complete with villains, her favorite story book (A Little Princess), a Pegasus, her marker kit, two bracelets, and her Scentsy warmer (with baby powder scent in it), and the thing that made me smile the biggest …….

A single sheet of paper……

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It says;
Places to see
1.South Africa
2. Bat cave
3. Heaven
4. N.F.R

My heart burst at the places she wants to see. South Africa! (I hope she takes me with her!). The Bat Cave…..not A batcave but I’m sure the batcave. You know, because she is a Batman fanatic….Heaven *sigh*…..And the NFR (National Finals Rodeo).

As I stood there letting it all sink in I realized who my daughter really is. She’s an adventurer, she’s a hero, she’s a Christian, and she’s a cowgirl.

I couldn’t help the silent tears that slid down my cheeks. They just sort of happened. Be ause I know in my heart this little child, my Captain Boo, is a beautiful person inside and out…  And I have no doubt she will see all these places on her list……and so much more.

Keep going Captain Boo, and oh the places you will go….